The First Turn-On! (1983) Some kids and a counselor trapped in a cave telling stories about their "first time."

Theme Song: There’s a bunch of Troma-commissioned garbage music in this movie. It seems to me they must have had some sort of arrangement with terrible bands to place X-amount of songs per movie. I’m not uploading any of them because I want to make you mad.

Interesting Dated References: Troma.

Best Line: The best and most hilarious line comes not from the movie itself, but its generous and excessive Wikipedia entry: “The First Turn-On! is usually considered by Troma fans to be the best of the company’s “sexy comedies.”

Social Context: Lots of socio-economic undertones about the economy in the 80s as it relates to foreign exports and imports in the global marketplace. Several scenes in particular showcase how Reagan-era trade policies were fast changing the concept of imported goods versus U.S. dollar values and jobs.

Summary: If I had to pick one good thing about early Troma movies, it would have to be solely as a showcase for 80s fashion. There’s plenty of tube tops, short shorts, etc., going on here, but really, that’s it. So we’re at this camp, a bunch of slapstick shit happens, and some kids tell stories about when they first got laid.

Then there are some boobs. Then there are some more wacky sound effects. Then there’s a bunch of racial jokes that don’t even make any sense.

That’s followed by a bunch of chicks in bathing suits, bad voiceovers, some chick from Penthouse, more boobs, and more 80s asses.

The main plot element here seems to be some kids and a counselor trapped in a cave telling stories about their “first time.” Eventually they all wind up naked and having sex and making wacky sound effects (not wacky sex-related sounds) before getting freed from the cave. Then the movie ends. At some point Vincent D’Onofrio was in the movie, as well. The sole redeeming scene involves a nice old boogie van named Moody Blue:

Poster and Box Art: Sucks, but features some Penthouse Pet you are supposed to care about. I also found this:

It’s actually pretty good as far as 80s boob-comedy posters go.

Availability: You can buy a copy over at Amazon.