STUCK ON YOU! (1983) Early Troma pile of shit that takes a look at famous couples through the ages.

stuckonyou_theatricalposterTheme Song: Who cares.

Interesting Dated References: Me in high school listening to trip-hop and thinking about killing myself.

Best Line: “I was having a dream about Linda Ronstadt.”

Social Context: Suicide, and why I should commit it.

Summary: I just fucking realized in the opening moments of this movie that it’s a fucking Troma release. Not like a really good underground movie that Troma got their hands on and put out a shitty DVD of, but like one of their original productions. I fucking hate this company and they put out the shittiest garbage ever. I have some recent reissues of old horror movies that have come out on DVD under the Troma umbrella. They sure know how to fuck up a DVD. They throw their ugly logos, stupid fucking intros, and trailers for their shitty original productions all over perfectly good old horror movies they never even had anything to do with. I’m equally as pleased to find out that Troma started out as a shitty Airplane! style movie rip-off company.

Look, I’m a fan of movies like this. I enjoy them. I enjoy slapstick movies that were popular in the late 70s, I’m not some total elitist, so I’ll stick with it. Two people are getting a divorce and while in court the judge takes them on a time traveling look at loving couples from throughout time. Prehistoric, Medieval, Adam & Eve. It’s all covered. And I’ll admit I even chuckled 4 times. But that’s it. Just 4. After 80 minutes the movie was over. This was better than Off The Wall in that it was completely scatterbrained and there were so many goddamn comedic props and jokes that it’s impossible not to laugh a few times. The pacing is actually pretty fast with about five sight gags per minute. But remember, that doesn’t necessarily make the movie funny.

How the fuck did this shit get made? My guess is that everyone was so amped on cocaine and those quaalude things you can’t get anymore that they were just green-lighting shit like this left and right. This lack of any type of standards or protocol provided the necessary momentum a company like Troma needed to get started. So I guess we can blame cocaine for Troma. Thanks a lot. I know the quaaludes certainly aren’t to blame, but just to be sure, if anyone has some, please contact me.

Poster and Box Art: Fuck this box art. I didn’t even look for any other version of the art because if I did it would be a huge waste of time. My time would be better spent plotting what to eat for dinner. Or raking leaves, the most pointless fucking thing on earth.

Availability: Troma is so self indulgent you can goddamn better bet this shit is on DVD. It’s even a collector’s edition! You better jump on it! Perhaps they should stop releasing this garbage and focus on actually remastering the old movies they buy the rights to and then release them and claim they are remastered.

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