Incoming Freshman (1979) Troma-esque sex movie with even less of a budget.

Theme Song:

“Do the Goat” by Unnamed Party Band.

I really don’t know what to make of this one. In fact I wasn’t even sure if I should bother recording it but for some reason I did.

Interesting Dated References: Nice Alice Cooper poster in the girls locker room.

Best Line: It’s almost so terrible everything qualifies.

Social Context: Boobs.

Summary: The plot is loosely following the virginal Jane on her quest to deliver muffled, stifled dialogue and have sex. She does succeed. The plot also follows the school principal as he envisions women naked and does all types of slapstick shit. Jane’s roommate, Viv, is a slut. That’s her in the picture below. She helps Jane realize her boyfriend back home is cheating on her. Meanwhile, the principal envisions girls naked.

This movie was clearly not filmed in a school. These sets are terrible. They look like they are in the basement of a factory they painted pastel. There’s a ton of pipes running along the ceilings and there is terrible echo to all the audio (no boom mic). Seriously! Pipes running all over the ceilings and walls! For example:

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That’s clearly some type of faucet/water pressure valve on the wall. What would that be doing in a dorm room? Seriously, they could have easily cropped that out of the shot. This dialogue is grueling and the girls are frumpy.

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So once Jane decides to date guys, she goes to the drive in where Jive-talking Black Guy, White-surfer Guy, and Nerd Guy all discuss how to get in her pants. Let’s not forget this sweater:

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The principal sneaks into the girls showers and there’s a bunch of boobs. Then he teaches a class and there are a bunch more boobs. Then Jane sort of dates Nerd Guy and the principal pictures more naked girls. This isn’t quite as bad as a Troma movie, but it’s sure as hell pretty close to it.

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Then the principal hallucinates and sees all the girls in the locker room in pig masks and they force him into a shower. Then the girls go to some frat party and some guy who looks exactly like Todd Solondz gives a speech. The principal shows up and everyone parties. Meanwhile the other non-frat guys pout. Then the movie ends.

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Poster and Box Art: The box features a bunch of hot chicks who aren’t in the movie, which seems to be a standard thing for booby comedies of the late 70s. The budget for the poster actually seems like it may have been higher than the movie.

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Availability: A bunch of used VHS. Oh, and this movie is available on one of those shitty 30 movie DVD packs that are always bad transfers.

5 comments

  • Best wishes with the meds… I had to go down the same road when I was a couple years older than you. I still may seek this awful movie, but then, I just like looking at boobs.

  • I pulled the VHS of this out of the closet. I haven’t watched it in years. I should check it out again. I can remember only a little bit, especially the hot girl in the tube top.

  • Don’t forget that the song here is performed by a band where all members are wearing goat masks. This movie was obviously shot on video and then transferred to film.

    • Nevermind the boobs- how about the aching cunts starving for stiff rods ?

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