Covergirl (1984) Struggling models whine a lot in this Canadian-made drama.

Theme Song:

“You Are My One and Only” by Mindy Sterling.

Interesting Dated References: Jokes about waterbeds; jokes about lawyers; jokes about answering machines; jokes about robot assistants.

Best Line: In reference to a man on a hot roll — “The man’s on a hot roll, don’t cool his dice.” The writer of Covergirl (Charles Dennis) must have been way into the term “hot roll” because it’s said like four times throughout the movie.

Social Context: In the early 80s the term, “supermodel,” entered the public lexicon and the lives of many young girls were forever ruined. No longer could you just become a, “model,” you had to become a, “supermodel.” Men also had to make more ridiculous bullshit stories to tell coworkers. No longer would, “a party with some models,” suffice, they had to be, “supermodels,” and you had to somehow slip in there that they were in bikinis even though everyone knows your story is full of shit.

Summary: Millionaire handheld gadget magnate T.C. Sloane (Jeff Conaway, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew), meets aspiring model Kit Paget (Irena Ferris, now known as Irena Medavoy, wife to Mike Medavoy) and proceeds to woo her into bed. Not satisfied with merely bedding her, T.C. decides to also manage her career, handle her day-to-day schedule, and help pick out her outfits.

The plot is a bit absurd as T.C. appears to have an endless revenue stream from selling handheld electronic football games, but Conaway is enthusiastic enough to make it work, for awhile at least. The montage sequence when he woos Kit is totally fucking ridiculous (fireworks, ground pyrotechnics, a floating island, outdoor light-up neon), but the display is obviously effective as Kit falls for it and immediately wants to have intercourse of a sexual nature in his awesome apartment while his robot assistant watches.

Then there are subplots and meandering causing Covergirl to lose steam, such as Kit’s contract disputes, her friend’s prostituting, her other friend aging-out of modelling and being depressed, Kit getting sexually assaulted by a photographer, T.C. getting pushed out of his own company, T.C. getting too wasted all the time, T.C. smothering Kit. I think I’ve forgotten a few other points.

Incredible 80s scenery and plot aside, Covergirl also jumps all over the place in tone. It’s a fluffy, Prince Charming-romance drama; it’s a gritty R-rated exposé on the modeling industry; it’s a slapstick farce of high society snobbery. The very next scene after Kit is sexually assaulted features her and T.C. laughing and kissing during a relaxing night at home. A wacky, sud-filled bubble bath fight in the middle of a party is cut short by a suicide announcement. That second example is slightly more appropriate, but overall Covergirl just can’t seem to figure out it’s identity.

So eventually Kit becomes a supermodel, and with T.C. at her side, has a big show to exhibit her supreme talents and business sense.

Worth Mentioning:
– T.C.’s apartment/studio is totally over-the-top-80s: sunken living room, arcade machines, not one but two cool/unique chairs, a robot servant (see below), advertising ephemera on the walls, and a glass-front refrigerator.

– There is a credit at the end of the movie for “Android Amusement by Gene Beley.” Gene owned a company called “Android Amusement Corp,” which supplied robots for various corporate and social functions, including Hugh Hefner for The Playboy Club. You can read more here, as well as see an archive of photos here.

– Filmed in Toronto, but referenced as New York throughout.
– Yes, there are some boobs in this movie if that’s all you care about.
– You may know director Jean-Claude Lord from such films as the Canadian Robocop knock-off, The Vindicator.
– Excellent opening type treatment to the movie title

Poster and Box Art: I’m not certain Covergirl received a theatrical release, so all I have to go by is the Thorn/EMI home video release cover.

This whole thing exudes 80s sex appeal to the highest degree. Look at that one girl on the right with her leg propped up on a water jug! Sure, none of these girls are in the movie, but that doesn’t matter.

There’s also an alternate version with a different photo from that same session.

Availability: Used VHS on eBay is the only option I can find.

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